Someone I spoke to recently was struggling with black and white thinking. Black and white thinking is the idea that our thoughts are either/or. This person felt that these two (seemingly) opposing ideas were eventually going to ruin them. These thoughts would need to be reckoned, and they felt unsettled and frustrated.
As I sit here thinking about that conversation, the concept of “both/and” comes to mind. It’s a therapeutic technique that comes from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) which is a modality that embraces acceptance and change. Let’s say you just got accepted to a university out of state. With both/and, simply put: you can be both excited to be accepted to college and moving to a new place, and nervous/sad about starting your college journey and leaving home.