I tell this story to my couple’s clients often. When my husband and I were first learning how to do things differently, I didn’t do it quite so well. I remember one evening that we started to argue and, remembering that I wanted to try and be vulnerable and share my feelings, I shouted, “I’m reaching out to you, and right now I fear you’ll reject me!” I was trying so hard to be vulnerable without realizing that my anger was silencing my attempts.
Some of my most significant moments in my personal life as well as my professional life with couples are the moments where my clients finally feel safe enough and open enough to turn to their partner and take the plunge into vulnerability. Brené Brown, social worker and author of many books focusing on shame and vulnerability, says,
If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.
I want to help you have the relationship you want and a life together that you love. In couple’s therapy, we will use a mixture of practical and emotionally based techniques to help you and your partner work towards better communication, greater intimacy, and getting your needs met.